Jersey Shore Blog

Vinny the Champ

The episode of the Jersey Shore airing on New Year’s Eve was officially Vinny’s party. In an episode that began in tragedy, Vinny shined through. Vinny was appalled by a man striking a female. The only thing stopping Vinny from showing off some muscle was the police. This was for the best. Dominating someone physically would have officially put Vinny in the national spotlight. Vinny is a workhorse. He thrives as a background player. This isn’t to say that Vinny is not an All Star in his own right. Similar to Derek Jeter on the Yankees, Vinny does his job everyday, performing at the highest level, while others receive the accolades.

Vinny’s didn’t  stop putting points on the board with some muscle flexing. Vinny showed his strengthens throughout the entire episode. He encouraged his house members (the family) to remain and support Pauly D. You could call that an assist (Obviously the muscle flexing was a rim-rocking dunk).

Near the end of the episode, Vinny hoisted up the game-winning three. He took home the boss’s lady. This did not come as a surprise in the least. Vinny used his charm and wit to look down an older woman. After finding out it was the boss’s lady, did this stop Vinny from continuing to hook? Heck no. He knew the cameras were on him, feigned ignorance, and brought that cougar home.

This is not the last we’ve heard from Vinny. It is of no coincidence that the episode aired on New Years Eve. This my friends, is the Year of Vinny.

Post by The Circumstance

Analyzing The Situation part 2

The Situation was recently out on the prowl with his wingman, DJ Pauly D aka your girlfriend’s favorite DJ.  The Situation convinced two girls (the original girls) to come back to the house with him and Pauly.  On the walk home, the boyz noticed two smoking honies in a convertible (smoking in this sense refers to the girls smoking cigarettes and not to their attractiveness, but however, in comparison to the original two girls, they were higher up on the hotness scale).  It was at this time, the Situation decided to take charge of the situation and started flirting with the convertible girls so that the original two would leave.  The Situation and Pauly managed to take the convertible girls back to the house and brought them up to the rooftop.

It was at this point that the Situation began making his moves on the more attractive of the two convertible girls, leaving DJ Pauly with the scraps.  DJ Pauly couldn’t have been more pleased.  However, insofar as we could tell, these girls were somehow immune to the charms of the Situation and your girlfriend’s favorite DJ.  It was at this point that the original two girls (the ones that the Situation and DJ Pauly D abandoned) found the beach house and entered.

This is when the real situation happened, and the only man that could handle it was - you guessed it - the Situation.

1. The first thing the Situation did was quickly analyze which group of girls was most likely to allow him to participate in sex.
   • Clearly the original girls that somehow managed to find the beach house were extremely into them and would be much easier prey
2. The next step was to avoid any situation involving the two groups of girls interacting with each other while he performed the switch
   • The Situation pulled this off by telling the convertible girls upstairs that the other girls were their roommates, and that they wanted those girls to leave
     • This was a solid play because it boosted to confidence of the original two girls as they saw the convertible girls being kicked to the curb.  Also, in addition to, the convertible girls had no idea that they were asked to leave so that the Situation and DJ Pauly could hook up with the original girls.
3. In order to reach maximum slickness, the Situation and Pauly walked the convertible girls past the other girls.  This was done for two reasons
   • As stated above, the convertible girls had no idea that they were being replaced as potential sex partners.
   • Also, the Situation needed to analyze the body languages being sent between the girls in order for him to decide if they would possibly be down for a threesome.
4. Unfortunately, no threesome was warranted, but the Situation had successfully pulled off one of the most difficult moves of all time.

This situation has just been analyzed

Posted by The Outline

Bowling Ball

Who’s body is more shaped like a bowling ball? Snookie or Maurice Jones-Drew?

Posted by The Circumstance

Winners

Some would argue that every housemate on the Jersey Shore is a winner. Its kind of like playing for the New York Yankees. Ronnie, The Situation, Snookie? All-Stars. However, one player in this game is more of a winner than others: Vinny.

Much like a college football player making the jump to the NFL, not everyone can elevate their game. At the tender age of 21, Vinny declared for the draft early. He brought a small set of skills with him. Sure he’s got the fist pump down, but people catch on quick. No matter how great your move is, you need to change it up. Vinny shouldn’t dominate, but he does.

Did a lack of attractive woman stop Vinny from dancing? No. Did pink eye stop Vinny? No. Did being the smallest dude in the house stop Vinny? No.

Vinny was brought up from the minors for the playoff chase, and is exceeding expectations. Vinny dominates.

Coming soon: Vinny workout plan.

Posted by: The Circumstance